Well kids, it’s that time of year again. There’s fake cobwebs all over everything, pumpkins have invaded the veg aisle and you can’t turn round in any of the shops without bumping into some tacky piece of shit and prompting a scratchy, pre-recorded voice to tell you how tasty trick-or-treaters are.
It’s also time to work out what the hell you’re going to wear this weekend. There’s all kinds of stuff on, and you’ve got to come up with something hilarious and original, right?
So here’s a list of potential costumes that are relevant to the times. This lot wouldn’t have cut it last year, for one reason or another. So have a scroll down, and be inspired…
Harley Quinn/Jared’s Joker
Suicide Squad was definitely the biggest superhero film this year. The revamped Joker is an excuse to dust off that purple jacket that’s been hanging in your wardrobe even since poor Heath passed away, plus you get to draw all over yourself.
As for Harley Quinn, she’s just prime costume material; sexy, punkish, carries a baseball bat. Although you might have to hand that in at the door.
Not exactly original, and not specific to this year, but they’ve taken on a whole new meaning the last couple of months. Be prepared to be dressed the same as roughly half the people in any given room.
Death From Above
Drones have taken over, and your costume can now fly. Unleash the dementors.
Stranger things fans out there who look pre-teen and a bit androgynous will be able to pull off the part of Eleven, the creepy, supernatural girl with the nosebleeds. The constant nosebleeds will probably be the hardest part to pull off.
Post Brexit Ireland
You won’t even have to buy the round in.
BB8, the new-fangled R2D2
If you’re carrying a bit more weight than you’d like at the
moment and aren’t sure you can squeeze into last year’s sexy nurse/King Leonidas outfit, no worries; this costume will make it much easier to roll over to the fridge. Christ knows how you’ll make this. Beach balls and hoverboards, maybe.
This guy just wasn’t anywhere near as scary this time last year, but back then he wasn’t in contention for getting his tiny little hands on the nuclear missile codes. All you’ll need is a suit, a wig, fake tan, and a healthy hatred of anyone not from ‘Murica.
…Except Vladimir Putin 💗