7 signs that I’m only “nearly” Irish

By Dearan / December 17, 2015

I enjoy a good Irish Breakfast, understand most of the slang, I thank the bus driver, and say “sorry” a hundred times a day, even when someone bumps into me. Yet, there are still typical Irish stuff I don’t do or understand…I also know I will get a bit (or a lot) of slagging for what I’m about to write, but I don’t care and I will probably laugh along…

1- I’ve never watched the Late Late Toy show

I can see the look of horror on your face… No I’ve never watched it, and I suspect this is mainly because it’s not part of my childhood. It doesn’t bring back any memories, and frankly, Ryan Tubridy doesn’t appeal to me at all. “But what about your children?“, you might be screaming behind your computer screen!! They watch the repeats at the childminder and that’s a win-win situation for me.

2- And I don’t watch soaps either

Fair city? Eastenders? Coronation Street? Fair enough I know the names, but the last time ever I watched an entire soap episode was on a trip to England when I was 14. The drama, the never ending improbable scenarios… I just don’t get it.

3- I still have an accent

But the good news is, people don’t really know where I’m from anymore. They usually know I’m not Irish, but they just can’t figure out which country I come from. And that’s a good thing. I mean, I’ve tried very hard to get rid of my French accent, and it’s starting to pay off.

4- I don’t follow GAA

But again, I don’t follow sports in general. I think I know the general rules, but I’m not entirely sure… Oh, but I understand the scoring system, that’s a good thing, right?

5- I don’t celebrate Halloween

Just like the Late Late Toy Show, that’s not part of my childhood. As a kid, I never dressed up and knocked on doors for candy. I know it’s fun and all, but I just don’t like fancy dress stuff, unless I’m on stage in a musical or something… Are you still screaming about the children? Well, you might have a point on this one… I was actually forced to go trick or treating this year. I’m proud to say I survived even if it wasn’t the most enjoyable experience. And for your information, no, I didn’t dress up.

6- I still have a hard time with Irish “gastronomy”

I can’t make a proper crisps sandwich, I don’t eat chocolate bars with crisps and why oh why would you put mayonnaise AND butter on a roll? That’s just the recipe for heart disease… And a special mention for the carvery where you’ll find roasted, boiled and mashed potatoes on the same plate…Even if I love potatoes, that’s just a bit too much.

7- I don’t celebrate Paddy’s day

Nah, just kidding on that one 😉

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