Now, you might be saying, “I don’t hate anyone”, but you and I both know that deep down that’s a lie. This article will be counting down the 8 most annoying types of people that you will come across. Not to say that all people in Ireland are like this, but it seems that there are those who are simply operating on a different level altogether. Let’s get started.
8. The oblivious tourist
At number eight on our list, we have the oblivious tourist. Typically found blocking the street with a selfie stick in hand, these people care nothing for the hustle and bustle of city life or country life for that matter. Indeed, language barriers aside, they seem to delight in ignoring signs and information that could save their lives, such as “private property, trespassers will be shot” or “warning, dangerous drop ahead”. This person seems to be an adrenaline junkie and loves to get to know the emergency services on a personal level. After all, they did get a good selfie.
7. The slow walker/driver
Slightly more annoying than the oblivious tourist is the slow walker/driver. They usually appear when you are at your most frantic, and live to clog up the streets and roads. Let me ask you if this sounds familiar: you’re trying to make it to the post office before they close when boom! A slow driver has now pulled out in front of you. You have to catch the bus because the next one won’t be here for 30 minutes, boom! A slow walker has appeared in front of you.
What makes these offenders even more annoying is that, when you try to overtake them, they start to drift over and back on the footpath. Even worse is when they suddenly speed up as you try to overtake them, only to slow down again once you are behind them.
6. The public cougher
At number six on our list, we have an annoying person of a different breed altogether. Perhaps the only good thing about COVID-19 is that the serial cougher and sneezer, who refuses to cover their mouth, is now terrified to do it in public. These pigs are nearly always found on public transportation and relish the idea of leaving their DNA on as many handrails as possible. They are also a close cousin to the people who walk out of bathrooms without washing their hands.
5. The bragger – always out to one-up people
The fifth worst offender on our list is the bragger. Chances are you have come across this person multiple times in your life, be it through your time at university, work, or even a family reunion. Typically found with the loudest voice no matter where you go, these people thrive on one-upping all of your achievements and love a good boast. If you were sick with the flu, well then they nearly died from pneumonia; if your child knows their ABCs by age 4, well then their child has been speaking 8 languages by the time they cut the umbilical cord.
Although annoying, the bragger does have one advantage. They provide everyone else with jokes for the rest of the year and, though we may all nod along as if we believe their outrageous claims, everyone knows that the bragger is full of hot air. However, we allow it because it is just so entertaining to hear what lie will come flying out of their mouth next.
4. The pervert lurking in the shop
Midway on our list, we come to the perverts of society. Typically found in supermarkets, these people love to “accidentally-on-purpose” rub themselves against you as they reach past you for some apples, which they always follow up with “sorry, excuse me”. The more daring perverts even try to follow you around the shop (yes, I can see you staring at me, you are not invisible!) by pretending that they too are browsing for the exact same items as you.
However, possibly the most annoying part of their behaviour is revealed when it comes to paying for your shopping. In the queue, they insist on standing 1cm behind you and, for every half step you take forward, they take two. What can I say, they love making strangers uncomfortable.
3. The person who holds up the queue
Number three on our list is the one person you absolutely love to hate just because they’re keeping you back. You know the ones I’m talking about. The guy who would rather slowly dig €50 worth of change out of his wallet rather than handing over a note, the woman who takes forever to pack up her shopping and, at the end, tries to pay with an expired voucher.
Or, perhaps worst of all, that person who is completely oblivious as they approach the security checkpoint at the airport. Whilst everyone else has already taken off jewellery, coats, belts, and bags, ready to throw into the plastic trays, these people feign innocence when their attempt to waltz through the metal detector is stopped. They are also the ones that seem to have forgotten the rule about liquids and undeclared foods.
So, whilst you’re ripping your hair out and looking frantically at your watch because your gate is about to close, these people are simply strolling through life, unaware of the chaos they’re causing behind them.
2. The parents who let their children run wild
These people should be fined every time they go out in public. We’ll call them “eccentric organic parents” because they do not believe in stifling a child’s creativity with such mundane things as manners. They let their children scream down entire restaurants, airplanes, and parks, and their only solution is to say “shh, darling” as they carry on scrolling through their phone.
Their favourite hobbies include going to busy restaurants and letting their child run riot, and, whilst you politely look at them and then back to the chaos that their child is causing, they simply smile at you as if nothing is wrong and ask for the wine menu. This lack of authority is even worse when they are in someone else’s home where they will gently scold their child only after they have jumped all over your fabric couches with their muddy shoes. Yeah, thanks, Karen, way to go!
1. The loud eater
The most annoying person on our list is the loud eater. This person takes the word “oblivious” to a whole new level as they chomp and slurp their way through life. What makes it worse is that they typically tend to be slow eaters, which only prolongs the agony for the people around them, and they always go for the noisiest foods they can. You can practically hear the crunch of their jaws as they work their way through a sharing bag of cheese and onion crisps.
In fact, this annoying person can be so rage inducing that there has even been a disorder related to it, known as misophonia. Yes, it seems that the loud eater’s incessant lip smacking, open-mouthed, cement mixer of a gob has finally driven people over the edge.
So, there you have it, folks, some of the worst people walking our streets. If you are offended by anything in this article, I can only assume that you must be one of the eight, in which case, sort yourself out.
Let me know your worst experiences with any of these people in the comments below.