Living abroad: Stay or go home next year? How to decide
If you’re living abroad, you may be asking if you should stay or go home next year. You may know this feeling:
- You miss home
- You also love parts of your life in your new country
- You feel “at home” in more than one place, and in neither at the same time
Studies on expats show that many feel lonely, anxious or low at some point, and that big questions about “where I belong” can add stress.
It’s completely normal to find the choice to stay or go difficult – it’s an important decision.
Living abroad vs moving back home: What really matters
Your mind may feel very busy:
- Money: “Am I earning enough?” Many newcomers face higher rent and lower pay than locals, which makes staying difficult.
- Politics and visas: “Are the rules getting tighter?”; “Do I feel welcome here?”
- Family: “Are my parents getting older?”; “Do I want my kids near grandparents?”
Migration research says that return decisions usually mix economic reasons, family ties, culture, and politics, not just one factor. No wonder your head is spinning!
What people usually do: Stay, go back, or move on
The choice to go back
Surveys of expats who returned say the top reason is homesickness – the deep feeling of missing your people and your culture.
Other common reasons include:
- Struggling to find good work
- High cost of living in the new country
- Wanting children to grow up “at home”
- Caring for parents or relatives
Return migration research also lists health problems, retirement, and feeling that you will “never fully fit in” as extra reasons to go back.
The choice to stay
On the other hand, many expats choose to stay long-term because they:
- Feel safer or freer in the new country
- Develop better career paths and pay over time
- Have strong local friendships or a partner
- Have good schools and healthcare for their kids
Studies show what we are all thinking about: immigrants are much more likely to stay when three things are in place: a stable job, a clear visa, and a few close relationships in the host country.
The choice to move again
Some people do not go “home” or stay. They move on again.
This can happen when:
- The first move was for study, and the next is for work
- You followed a partner and now follow a job
- You like being mobile and want to try another place
Researchers call this “onward” migration and it is more common than many people think.
A simple way to make your decision
You can’t solve this with one magic formula. But you can make it less “foggy”. Here is a simple framework you can use.
Step 1: Look at your daily life
Therapists who work with expats suggest starting with your normal day, not the big story in your head.
Ask yourself:
- When do I feel okay or even happy during a normal week?
- When do I feel drained or stuck?
- Do I feel more like myself at work, with friends, online, or alone?
Sometimes we tell a big story like “this country is awful” or “home is perfect.” But your actual day might show:
- Great friends, but terrible job
- Good job, but no social life
- Decent life, but visa fear
Your daily life gives you clues about what really needs to change.
Step 2: Look at four big areas: Work, people, place, paper
Work and money
Ask:
- Can I cover rent, food, and some fun, without constant panic?
- Do I see a path to better work here in the next 1–3 years?
- How would my job chances look back home or in another country?
Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development (OECD) reports show that migrants often start in lower-paid jobs, but pay gaps can shrink over time if they stay and grow in the local labour market.
So you might ask: “Am I at the start of a curve that is about to go up, or stuck in something that will not change?”
People and support
Ask:
- Who can I call when something goes wrong here?
- Do I have at least one or two people I trust in this country?
- Do I feel more lonely here than I would back home?
Studies on expats show that good social support is one of the strongest buffers against stress and depression abroad.
If you stay, you may need to build more support. If you go, you may also lose some support that you already have here.
Place and everyday fit
Ask:
- Can I handle the weather, food, public space, and pace of life here?
- Do I feel safe walking around my area?
- Does this place support the hobbies or calm moments I need (parks, sea, cafés, places of faith, gyms, clubs)?
Some things you can adapt to. Others drain you every day. Be honest about which is which.
Paper: Visas and future options
Ask:
- How stable is my status here? Am I always scared of the next visa?
- Is there a clear path to longer-term rights (residence, citizenship) if I stay?
- How would my legal status look back home or somewhere else?
Reports from OECD and others show that strict or changing rules can push people to leave, even when other parts of life feel okay.
Your stress may come less from the country itself and more from the paperwork treadmill.
Step 3: Think in seasons, not forever
Instead of asking “Where should I live forever?”, try: “Where do I want to be for the next 12–24 months?”
This matches how many migration researchers now look at return decisions – as part of a life cycle with different phases, not one once-and-for-all move.
You can say:
- “For the next two years, I will stay here and focus on X (career, savings, language, therapy). After that, I’ll reassess.”
- Or: “I will plan to go home in one year. I’ll use this year to say goodbye properly, save money, and close things with care.”
This takes some pressure off. You are choosing a season, not your full life script.
Step 4: Talk with people who matter
Talk to people back home
Ask trusted family or friends:
- “What do you imagine my life is like here?”
- “What worries you if I stay? What do you hope for me if I come back?”
Sometimes family push you to return because they miss you, or they think you are “living the dream” and you should stay there, while you are not. Talking honestly can correct those pictures.
At the same time, remember: they don’t live your daily life. Their view is important, but it is not the whole truth.
Talk to people around you now
Also talk to:
- Close friends in your current country
- Other expats who stayed or went back
- People a few years ahead of you in the same place
Ask:
- “If you had to do it again, would you stay, leave, or move earlier?”
- “What surprised you about your choice?”
Hearing real stories helps you see paths you had not thought about.
Get neutral help if you feel stuck
If you feel very torn, or your mood is very low, a neutral person can help:
- A counsellor or therapist who understands expat life
- A support group or online community for migrants
Research on expatriate therapy shows that guided reflection and support can ease distress and help people decide with more clarity, not more fear.
Signs you might be ready to go
No study can tell you “yes” or “no”, but here are some red flags that staying might be hurting you:
- You have felt deeply unhappy most days for a long time, and you do not see any path to change it here
- You feel unsafe due to racism, violence, or laws, and that is not likely to improve
- Your health or mental health is getting worse, and you cannot access support where you are
- Your main reason for staying is fear (“I’ll be a failure if I go home”) rather than hope
Return migration research notes that people often go back when the costs of staying (stress, danger, blocked goals) clearly beat the benefits. If you see yourself here, it may be time to plan a gentle, respectful exit.
Signs you might be ready to stay (for now)
You might choose to stay if:
- You feel tired but not broken, and can see concrete steps to improve life here (new job search, learning the language, changing city or house-share)
- You have or can build support here – friends, partner, colleagues, community
- There is a clear path to a better status (longer visa, residence, citizenship) and that matters to your long-term goals
- The idea of leaving makes you feel relief and sadness, but the idea of staying and trying still gives you some curiosity or hope
You do not need to feel 100% sure. You just need enough clarity to say: “For the next season of my life, this is my best guess. I can change later.”
Final thoughts: Home can change with you
“Home” does not have to be one fixed address forever.
You might:
- Stay where you are, and over time it really becomes home
- Go back, and feel that home is sweeter than ever
- Move again, and build a new version of home somewhere else
Migration experts now see return and onward moves as normal parts of many people’s life paths, not failures.
You are allowed to change your mind. The most important thing is not to please someone else, but to choose:
- The place where you can live, grow, and be mostly okay,
- With the people and support you need,
- At this stage of your life.
Living abroad doesn’t have to be forever; you can change your answer to ‘where is home?’ as your life changes. After all, next year’s “home” is not a test you must pass. It is a choice you can keep reshaping as you go.
