6 Killer Ways to Boost Your Self-Confidence

Self-confidence is defined as a feeling of trust in one’s abilities, qualities, and judgment. Self-confidence is important to your health and psychological well-being. Having a healthy level of self-confidence can help you become successful in your personal and professional life. Having self-confidence can bring many benefits—at home, at work, and within your relationships.

Self-confidence is a bit like the electricity in your house. You may not know every detail about how it works or where it exactly comes from, but it’s obvious when it’s not there. Just like when you are out of power, a lack of self-confidence can have a negative impact on your health and lifestyle. Fortunately, there are things you can do in order to improve your self-confidence.

One of the reasons one is held back from pursuing dreams is the fear of failure and the lack of self-confidence needed to overcome such fear. Living in fear is not a healthy lifestyle, so by working on your self-confidence and self-esteem, you will be able to overcome the fears and build your self-confidence.

Self-confidence is a skill, and without it, we are useless. Dr. Ivan Joseph defines self-confidence as “the belief you can accomplish any task”, and without self-confidence and belief in yourself, it is hard for others to believe in you and lift you up when you are going to push back and refuse to lift yourself up. However, self-confidence can be trained with the mindset of it is a skill. The best exercise is repetition, repetition, repetition. For a lot of people, the issue at hand is we all want to be self-confident and think it will just come to us, but the truth is we cannot be confident unless the skill or task is not new to us. 

By practicing a speech in the mirror until the nerves go away and moving onto bigger crowds until the day of the speech arises, or having a basketball player shoot free throws until he reaches a specific goal every single day, or practicing how sew repeatedly until we are confident in our capabilities is a great way to train our self-confidence skills. However, the issue is most people quit at the first sign of failure. They give up. But practicing makes perfect and being persistent in your repetition and honing your skills is essential to boosting self-confidence. 

Another essential skill to hone in on in order to boost your self-confidence is self-talk. Your mind produces 50,000 thoughts a day and only 80 percent of those thoughts are positive. When you feed yourself doubtful and negative thoughts, your confidence levels deteriorate. The world is designed to knock you down and is full of people who will feed you negative thoughts or be mean to you. Do not allow yourself to be a bully to your own mind and confidence. Control your thoughts and give yourself positive reinforcement. Be on your own team. If you feel like you are stuck in a rut, the best way to get out is being confident in yourself and your ability to take on any task.

Practicing self-love is an important part of boosting your self-confidence. Self-love is the basis of your life. Without it, you are unable to love others as they should be loved, you cannot expect others to love you the way you should be loved, and you are prone to being hurt by yourself and others. Without self-love, your mind alters reality and makes assumptions about others thoughts and feelings about you. The average person lives selfishly and is not worrying about what you are doing in order to judge your actions. Instead, our minds create scenarios of reality and create a sense of paranoia about the idea everyone is out to get me. Negative sayings from a stranger only hurt when you believe in them. You believe there is truth to the hurt and pain. 

Train your brain to stop allowing negative thoughts to prosper, and learn to not care about what others think about you because only then can you truly live freely and love yourself. Accepting who you are and your past actions is a step toward being comfortable with yourself in order to boost your self-confidence. Our thoughts control our actions, and when we think negative thoughts about ourselves it can lead to self-destruction and self-loathing. Learn to have self-confidence by feeding your mind positive self-affirmations. Repeatedly telling yourself self-affirmations will enable your mind to believe there is truth in the words, and slowly self-confidence will increase. If you do not give yourself affirmations, who will? There will be times when you are alone, looking in a mirror and you will need to tell yourself you are in control of your own life. You are worthy of all to come. If you do not say it, and you do not believe it, no one else will. 

You cannot expect others to be confident in who you are, if you are not confident in yourself. Believe in your abilities, accept who you are as a person, and do not be afraid to say this is me. If you look in the mirror and do not like the person staring back at you, then have the confidence to change. You are in control of your own life and the person you want to be. Believe yourself into existence. Believe you are the person you want to be and repeatedly work towards being that person because others will be able to see it as well. Eliminate those who seek to tear you down and surround yourself with a strong support system. It can be challenging to get away from those who tear you down especially if they are family, but your mental health is going to drive your self-confidence. Find the healthy relationships in your life and utilize them to be your drive to do better. 

You can write down your affirmations and self-confidence on a good day and put it in a spot you can see it all the time, so you have to see it and tell yourself those affirmations. Write down the good you see in yourself and hone in on those aspects instead of the parts you do not like about yourself. There will always be moments in every human’s life where we do not feel good about who or what we are, so writing it down to read and see can help play a part in lifting us back up when we feel down. We all have doubts and worries from time to time you just have to replace it. Replace it with positive thoughts and uplifting ideas about yourself. Replace the negative thoughts in your own mind. Praise positive behavior you want to reinforce instead of tearing yourself down with all the mistakes you believe to have made. Positive affirmations will lead to lessons being learned, and the mistakes will be corrected without tearing down anyone’s self-confidence. Mindset plays a key element. Change the way you think, and believe in yourself. Do not wait for what you want in order to create the life you want. Go out and take it. Build your confidence and create the life you can be happy in.

Here are 6 killer ways to boost your self-confidence.

Groom Yourself

It can seem obvious, but putting time into yourself is a key ingredient in the recipe for self-confidence. Take a shower, shave your legs, or put on a nice outfit. These are all ways your self-confidence can be boosted. When you feel good about yourself, you radiate confidence as it can completely change your mood. Simply getting out of bed and brushing your hair can make a difference, so go ahead and change out of the sweats you have been sporting for the past couple of days and put on something casual yet presentable. The subtle change can make a difference within one’s mindset. 

Think Positively

It can become tedious constantly hearing to think positively, but have you ever considered owning your feelings? It is actually healthy not to be optimistic all the time, as long as you are accepting and understanding the feelings you have in a healthy way. Do not suppress your emotions as negative thoughts will only get louder until you reach your breaking point. Positively accepting the fact you are a human with thoughts and feelings is the first step to healthily overcoming negative thoughts and gaining your confidence back. 

Change the way you think. Kill negative thoughts at the source: you. You are in control in the messages you send your brain. Learn to recognize negative self-talk, and learn how to trick your mind into destroying them like a pesky bug. The mind will give up ten times before your body does, so when negative thoughts present themselves and say you can not do it, reclaim positive affirmations about why you can. Eventually your brain will proceed to believe the affirmations and will stop telling you it is impossible for you to continue on. You are in control, so do not let your mind tell you otherwise. 

Get to Know Yourself

You may think “I am pretty sure I know myself well. I have only been with myself since the day I was born”; however, the process of getting to know yourself is a little different. The idea is to take a step back and look at your whole life: all the experiences you went through, mistakes you think you have made, and trauma you have gone through. Revisiting your past and accepting who you are because of the trials in your life is a great way to get to know yourself. Accepting the person you were and the person you are now is the way to achieving self-confidence. Without self-love and the knowledge of who you are and why you are the way you are, it can be hard to have faith and confidence to be yourself. It may feel like the world will not accept you and feel forced to hide parts of your past or personality making you feel caged. The truth is, you put yourself in the cage and only you can take yourself out by taking responsibility for who you are. It will not be an easy overnight task, and it is ok if the path to getting to know yourself is emotional because healing takes time. Healing wounds you did not know were there will ultimately increase your mental health and subconsciously boost your self-confidence. 

Get to know yourself by also listening to your thoughts. Analyze the thoughts you have about who you are and pinpoint where the thoughts started. By acknowledging the thoughts, it will make it easier to overcome them. When the negative thoughts roll in, switch to positive ones in order to counteract the brain and set it on a different track. Dig deep within yourself, and eventually you will find a greater self-confidence. 

Know your Principles

Having a basis for the life you want to live and who you want to be is a start, but it can be hard to set boundaries for yourself and not stick to them. Having principles and boundaries give your life direction in order to help you not feel so lost. Keep yourself accountable, and get rid of anyone who does not support or respect the simulations you set up for yourself. It is never too late to reevaluate your principle and set new ones. Life changes, people change, and so do goals. 

Stand tall for these principles and what you believe. Standing tall will also help your posture. When you straighten your back and walk with good posture, or correct it and stand in a power stance, what happens is the brain is triggered to produce more confidence than when you are hunched over in a ball. By standing tall and emitting confidence, it tends to make people more attractive. 

Focus on Solutions

If you are a complainer or just focus on problems, change your focus now. Focusing on situations you cannot change, will not get you far in life nor will it have a positive impact on your mental health. Focus on situations you can control and focus on the solutions instead of the problem. Change the way you think. Set a goal for yourself. Not a big goal, but start off small and achieve it. You can shoot for the moon, but if you do not focus on the small goals needing achievement to get there, the journey can be overwhelming and cause you to feel like a failure. Setting little goals you know you can achieve and doing it will make you feel good. Repeating the process will have a gradual impact on your overall health.

Want to work on yourself and find solutions internally, then start with a small habit change. Wake up 10 minutes earlier, or drink a glass of water when you wake up, just do something small you know you can do. Eventually when the new method of action becomes a habit, you can add another small habit change in order to increase the change, but instead of being overwhelming, you hardly notice a difference in habits. Not everything in life has to be rushed. Slowing down, taking your time, and starting small ends in more success stories than those who jumped in the deep end head first. 

Embrace Self-Doubt

Practice facing your fears stemming from a lack of self-confidence. If you are afraid of embarrassment, try it anyway. Try telling yourself it is an experiment and see what happens. Being a little anxious or making a few mistakes are not a bad thing. It is part of being human. Preparing and practicing should not be overlooked, but do not wait until you feel 100 percent confident before you proceed because you may never move forward again. 


Having self-confidence has various benefits and positive effects. You will have an openness to try new things because you are able to believe in yourself, and believing in yourself is key when putting yourself out there. You will have a better performance because you will be able to devote your resources to the task at hand instead of worrying if you are good enough. Higher levels of self-confidence increases the reliance and bounce back you have after a negative encounter. Do not compare yourself to others and not caring what they think about you is the key to being free. Take care of your body as it is your temple. If you abuse your body and cause yourself harm, your confidence and mental health will decrease so diet, exercise, meditate, and get the proper dose of sleep. Change your thoughts and the information you feed yourself. Your mind will believe everything you tell it, so feed it positive affirmations with positive self-talk. Remember it will take time to notice improvements but by following these 6 killer ways to boost your self-confidence, it will not be impossible.

Meladi Brewer
Meladi Brewer

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